The freedom of being forgotten

There is a kind of melancholy that comes when you understand that the price of inner peace may also be the gradual erosion of your ability to maintain relationships.

You become a kind of ghost, even within your own social circle. And then, one day, you realize that many interactions are just hedgehogs trying to convince each other that their spikes are "not that sharp." In the end, that whole comedy exhausts everyone.

Honestly, I even think there is a real freedom in being the one people forget.

Because it is precisely the fear of being seen as complicated or difficult that keeps the machine running. Most of us are, somewhere deep down, terrified of losing status. Of being the one who is not moving forward, who is not ticking the boxes. Of being the one who does not have the right mask, the right network, the right image.

Sometimes I feel like I am watching the functional version of myself. The one that pays the bills, answers emails, and plays the role.

And sometimes I wonder what would happen if I stopped inwardly. Not in the sense of dropping everything to go live in a barrel. Simply stopping worrying about being pleasant. Stopping negotiating my shape just to reassure other people.

The honesty of the outsider: finding inner peace through solitude and authenticity

I think being an outsider demands a kind of radical honesty.

When you stop trying to fit into the puzzle, or into the line as we say back home, you can finally see the whole picture. And then you may realize that the line people are chasing is pretty ugly. That half the pieces were forced into place.

We are all exhausted from trying to hold together a world that does not really exist. The problem is that society often hates people without shame, those who refuse to play the game.

But deep down, I think many secretly envy them. Because they too would like to be free from this obsession with fitting into the puzzle.

Not waiting for permission: the freedom of letting go of social expectations

We waste an enormous amount of time waiting for permission that will never come.

The truth is that the world is not going to become healthier by magic. The worst remains possible, not just the best. And there is a huge relief in accepting that the world will keep turning even if you do not show up for your scene today.

Most people are terrified of that idea. They want to be essential, important, influential, sometimes without substance. They want to be the hedgehog at the center of the group because they think warmth is worth the needles.

I think I have found my distance from the center.

Sometimes it is a bit cold, sometimes a bit lonely. But I can breathe. I have peace, and I do not have to keep adjusting my mask every two minutes so the neighbors do not see the emptiness underneath.

A lantern lit: maintaining personal identity in a performative society

Tomorrow, I will go back into the flow. I will play my role, a little clumsily, in the great collective room. With the practical ease of someone who stopped believing in the script a long time ago.

I will do my best like someone who has had a lot of training. But with a lantern lit in my chest, looking for the honest man in the mirror.

Maybe there is a form of rebellion that does not go through fire or explosions. Maybe it is simply being functional on the outside while remaining absent on the inside when necessary.

It is about keeping the inner fortress intact while the rest of the world screams for things that, most of the time, do not matter that much.

I think that is enough of this topic for today.

Thank you for reading.